layout: detonatedlove
inspiration: wordpress

=) May everyone's wish comes true for the CNY!


Good health, good results, good long-lasting love..
May you be blessed with eternal bliss and happiness..

With my most sincere heart,
love you always..



Why are you being cold to me sometimes?
And warm to me at times?
It's like.. we can only have fun and laugh together whenever you're engaging and easy to talk to..
I hope.. that one day we will look at each other and not feel a barrier between us.
Remember the half of my life I have left? I'm losing it soon.. I'm getting all the shit and criticism ever since i entered ct4. I might be kicked out of ct4. I'm losing confidence I've placed in myself.
Can I talk about kede? Can I understand wats happening between you both?
I'm thinking of you everyday. I'm falling without support soon.
Till then, I'll be loving and waiting for you, and brave myself forward. Because that's the last bit of confidence I know I can survive on.


Today's flight was... unexpected.
My taxying has gone haywire again. Oh my god I have absolutely no idea that the right rudder of BPA is so DAM HARD OMG! the left one was much easier to press..
I'm getting all the comments about my height from the instructors.. I might not be able to stay in ct4 much longer.. if I dun prove myself in taxying by nxt conver sortie. I swear it's not my height that's causing my bad taxying.. The right rudder jst like stone... after I turned left, I pressed the right ruddder, and after awhile then the aircraft turn right.

I don't want to let myself down. Don't want to let my instructor down. I must stay on, I must taxy slowly this time, and press right rudder earlier before a right turn. My last chance to make things for my to continue ct4.

My flight in the air was pretty fun.. ALL the Gs were addictive, tho we didn't pull much... I absolutely luv the PFD, something like the HUD haha.. I'm starting to feel the aircraft.. and for flapless I didn't really have to worry much afterall.. I still can see the attitude after rounding up.. like a little less than an inch below the horizon. And having a canopy is so much easier to look around! =) *Not that I don't like the piper* Everything else was managable. Felt the stress jst like when I was flying the first few sorties in piper. But it's managable, and I know I will be able to handle it after a few more flights in it. The only thing which I missed piper is my ex-instructor teaching me and the absolute full feel of the piper. I believe by the time I fly till circuits for the ct4, I will have the same full feel of it too. I have to continue working hard.



Flying tmrw at first wave!
Completed all the checks except HASELL and FIE..
only worry is that I might have a mindblock when in the cockpit...
and the preflight briefs are quite different from the pipers'!
Hope my instructor will be in a gd mood tmrw!



CT4E assessment tmrw.. Need to wear flight suit? lol..
Gonna bring my gloves to practise checks anyway..
I've studied my checks till finish Engine Starting! c'mon gotta finish them..
May God PLEASE grant me my CT4! =)
*Studying hard for checks!*

I'm missing charlets! Been quite long since I went one.. but the upcoming exams isn't helping much! Just beats my feeling down.. Gym and swimming c'mon! EXAMS FASTER FINISH AND LET ME GO EXERCISE!!!
c'mon ct4 ct4 ct4!



Was taken for CT4E checks by my senior today.. man there's really alot of new things I have not learn before! but the checklist is managable.. I need time to have it all memorized. I wan it memorized before my first conversion sortie! but I left like just a week.. and my teachers just keep stacking the homework as though there's a race to see who gives the most assignments! zz..

but the ct4e was really awesome! can't wait till I fly it! =)
and my new instructor has been changed to Raman!! this was really really sudden!
I can't think of any reason why my instructor has been changed.. and he has really high expectations.. I need to get to the CT4 asap again.. I need to run thru all the checks again.. omg I'm rushing against time once again..

I'm not sure if he will teach me everything on my first sortie.. I hate to screw up any flight, especially ON THE FIRST SORTIE! omg pray hard that I can have my checks memorized before my first sortie...



Got in CT4E! with Siva being my new instructor!
I'm definitely going to miss baldev teaching and flying with me..
It may just be 16 sorties with him.. But it's a time which I learnt alot, work the hardest and commit myself to the highest extend..

now I'm in CT4E, I will continue to give my best. I want to achieve the best. I will make my instrutor proud, that he has never made the wrong choice to put me to ct4..
My instructor will always be my instructor =)

School's getting boring day by day.. the so-thought poly life will be interesting is SO UNTRUE OMG.. Maths maths maths and MORE MATHS OMG! my teacher jst seems to think we can understand every single word she said and jst rocket thru the topics! and the exercises she give like tissues! zzz.. not only maths, the rest of the subjects jst really NOT INTERESTING!.. like secondary school..

another 6 more weeks till exams, and after exams is another 2 months hols.. omg man..



CX today.. gusting 25 knots! not even able to takeoff.. becuz confirm dnco..
well I've asked today if it's due to my flying performances that's why he didn't recommend me for ct4..

thank god it's not due to that.. can't help but feel disappointed for the past few days thinking that my flying performances isn't good enough for it..

So the ball is in my hands.. Should i take ct4 or stay in piper?
ct4's is faster and more thrilling, but more tiring(I don't mind).
but my instructor will have to be changed (I really mind), and i have no idea who exactly will be my instructor.. and about it that ct4 breaks down easily.. but i really do wan to fly ct4.. and I want to get the best of flying..

if only my instructor stays the same and teach me ct4, that would be so perfect things can't be any more perfect. If I can't make it for ct4e, will my sir take me back?



Flying tmrw! with my flight suit! :D but without boots and nametag...
will make do with black shoes then.. haha..
guess I will ask my instructor if it would be better for me in ct4.. based on my flight records and skills..
not that I dun like the piper, but it's jst that I'm being too.. ambitious? and quite worried too actually.. in the airforce for bwc training, we will be flying the pc21, which is a flight-stick controlled acrobatic plane, somewhat similar to the ct4...

and if I do get my ppl, I will skip agc training, which trains us to fly the ct4.. so the big jump from a control-column controlled plane to a flight-stick controlled plane might take me sometime to get use to..

and bwc got higher expectations for the pilot trainees.. which means I can't take too long a time to get use to the flight-stick..

Oh well.. hope I will be able to enter ct4.. if not the best flying award can say byebye... and I really want to be an airforce pilot.. guess I'm going to need all the luck and flying skills to get me thought all the way.. To be a pilot.



went to collect my flight suit today, but did not managed to. have to collect it only on tuesday.. argh well..

finally saw my name up on the PPL board! =) but, well.. it's abit too high up instead of the last 5 rows.. today, when I was asked why didn't I enter Ct-4E, i didn't know how to answer.. Am I, not good enough? Did I not hit my instructor's expectations?
I was really happy when I entered PPL, but actually all along, I had a secret desire.. I really wanted to fly the CT-4E.. I wanted to be the best, the best pilot so that I could fly it..

But then, if I would be able fly it, it would mean that my instructor has to be changed too. How would you feel? if you are trained and nurtured for so long by your instructor, but because jst becuz you want to be the best, you have to change ur instructor.. I don't want to disappoint my instructor, neither do I want to disappoint myself. Furthurmore, I can communicate well with my instructor, and I really like him as my primary instructor.

I don't want to disappoint him, so I didn't request for ct-4e today, even tho I was asked to. But, if my instructor offer me, I will take it. I want to be the best, I won't let go of any chance which will get me trained for the best. but maybe I'm not good enough, so he didn't offer me.. but if he does, I will..

I want to get the Best for flying award.. really ambitious aren't I.. I will aim for it, no matter what.